The Muslims are coming. They have footbaths. RUN!!!
WSN's Sept. 24 article, "Muslims lacking a place to cleanse," pointed out that footbaths might be a better option than the Bobst sinks for Islamic students washing their feet in observance of Salah, the daily prayer ritual. This provoked passionate debate in the online article comments, with many readers posting responses best described as bat-shit crazy.
Yes, the drama of our time - a footbath.
Some commenters thought footbaths would be an unnecessary cost. Others just found the whole foot-in-sink thing gross. And then there were your garden-variety "Muslims smell" threads.
When I read those comments, I get the feeling I'm in a Lifetime special presentation on "What It Means to Be Muslim in America." Allah preserve us.
Despite all the upheaval, there's been no actual demand, or even request, from NYU's Islamic community for the footbaths. It's more like, "Hey, they'd be nice, but no pressure."
They've even quietly accepted being relegated to the Catholics' basement in lieu of a center of their own. I get the feeling our school has remarkably chill Muslims.
Seems odd, doesn't it, in a culture of complaint such as ours? We freak out about everything - the housing lottery, tuition, the broken escalators at Kimmel, goddamn Will Smith shooting movies in the park. There's a crotchety streak that runs deep in the American soul. Is this anomalous complacency typical only of NYU's Muslims, or are Muslim Americans not quite comfortable yet with organized public dissent?
Makes sense, when a Muslim can't even wash his foot without getting called an "inconsiderate pig." (Thanks, anonymous commenter.)
The paranoia this story inspired fascinates me. As if Islamic students were making the most brazen of demands, instead of, well, not making any demands at all. One commenter, who identified as Mormon, said, "I must insist that if the Muslims get their footbaths, the campus must be rid of places that sell coffee, tea, soft drinks and hot chocolate."
Seriously. Muslims getting their footbaths would be like opening a Kosher Café. Or having a vacation from school at Christmas. Hey, I'm vegan - does that entitle me to a special vegan dining hall? I mean, come on.
A few people - the ones who forgot we attend a private university, apparently - brought up separation of church and state. Privileging certain religious groups is plain unconstitutional, right? Just imagine, a society that can't sell liquor before noon or deliver the mail on Sundays. Or that orders the centuries based on the life of Jesus. Some Orwellian shit right there.
OK, so the "Mormon" guy might've been kidding. But if we're going to accuse Muslims of seeking "religious privilege," let's acknowledge that we live in a society structured around Judeo-Christian privilege anyway. Oh, those selfish Muslims, wanting it all. Hell, they already have the basement of the Catholic Center, the Bobst second-floor bathroom and a practically disenfranchised political voice, so what's with the greed?
The WSN editorial board suggested in the Sept. 26 issue that NYU's new multifaith center come equipped with footbaths. It should. And yes, this university's 1,000-plus Muslims deserve a full, footbath-friendly student center all to themselves.
I can't claim much personal interaction with the Islamic faith. I did grow up near Dearborn, Mich., which boasts a huge Arab population, and I've enjoyed high-quality hummus. When I was 9 years old, I went on a Girl Scout field trip to a mosque and we did a craft that involved making our own headscarves out of lace.
I grew up an infidel anyway.
But as long as Muslim Americans, especially students at NYU, aren't comfortable making the most reasonable requests, I'm adding my secular voice to the cause.
A step into a footbath could be a step toward tolerance. Or at least a step away from angry Mormons and Muslim-haters.
Abbey Fenbert requests that you not stone her this week. E-mail her at opinion@nyunews.com.
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